Oh, boy...

I really don't even want to post...I'm so mad at myself. I haven't posted in months, and I've just been gaining and gaining. I want to blame it on my busy life, my boyfriend, work, etc., but I know it's all on me. I just lose all self-control sometimes and then it takes me literally FOREVER to get back on the wagon. I stepped on the scale the other day and cried. I'm at the heaviest I've ever been. I gained back all my weight and then some (8 more pounds to be exact). I've let myself down, and it hurts. I know I can do it, but then again I feel like it's impossible. It's so easy to just go grab fast food or snack on junk food when I get hungry, but then I way overdo it. I'm so upset at myself because a lot of my clothes don't even fit right anymore, and I feel sluggish and giant all the time.

But, I've decided to try and get back on track. Weight Watchers was a gift from my mom, and as long as she saw me using it and losing weight, she said she'd keep paying for it. She stopped a while back because she could tell I'd given up on even trying.

Anyway, Keegan even offered to help me by joining Lose It! and eating right with me. So far, so good. I still don't feel that all-in, 110% motivation I had when I started Weight Watchers, but he's helping me get back into it. He even kept me on track yesterday when I wanted to grab seconds at dinner. He didn't tell me no, but he didn't take seconds, and that made me really think about what I wanted to do. I can't tell you how grateful I am to have him.

We're headed to his grandparents' house this weekend, and Shirley always makes chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes or something, so it's going to be really tough to stay on track this weekend, but I think that, together, we can do it.

I'm going to try and start posting more often. This blog really helped me stay on track last time. I also need to get back into my exercise routine, and now that school's out and summer school ends at noon, maybe I'll get motivated to hop on the treadmill or the bike. Fingers crossed!

 I've earned 2 badges so far on Lose It!, Keegan and I added each other to help motivate/keep us on track, and I posted my awful, terrible, embarrassing weight... (Also, I started wearing my Fitbit again to help motivate me to get off my butt.

Starting Weight: 330

Current Weight: 326.2

Pounds Lost: 3.8

Pounds to Go: 136.2